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Pen And Notepad

Updated: Jul 3, 2022

I was raised in the church and began writing songs as a teenager during the deepest, darkest times of my life. I started writing after a very wise man (Dad) recommended I unload any unresolved anger using a pen and notepad. “You can’t keep everything in, son!” He stated, “The anger has to go somewhere!” Pen in hand, I began to unlock my emotions without fear of repercussion or reprimand. I imagined most people writing in their journals, coldly calculating each word thoroughly before their pens touched the paper. But I could not. I had so much to say that I could hardly think. My psyche was a logjam of dangerous beams, barreling through the ballpoint and spilling out onto the lined canals on each page.

I followed the pen as it began its quest. It skipped across each channel as pure emotion burst forth like a waterfall in April. What an exhilarating feeling! For the first time in my life, I was able to articulately express my most persistent personal hang-ups and my most stubborn psychological roadblocks. The best part about it was that I could say whatever I wanted, and no one would be auditing, editing, or receiving my uncensored rants. No matter what I said, no one was harmed in the writing of those pages. God only knows how many times the ink was mixed with tears spilling out from within the two ducts above.

Why didn’t I ever try this before? Ever since I wrote my first few lines, it’s been a long, expressive journey of emotional tension and spiritual release. To this day I am grateful to my Father for recommending the notepad. He did so because there was a point in his life in which he had to do the same thing. It was all part of his own therapy. He had authored a book of his own but never released it. Maybe someday I’ll release it on his behalf. As far as my own writings are concerned, each expression formed a wonderful foundation for my own “self talk” and helped me to see who I really was. Mirror mirror on the wall. Who’s the kid behind it all? Let’s pick up the pen and find out!

(The blog you've just read is actually an excerpt from JJ's new book which will be released shortly.)

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